he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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