she was so not down for the gang bang
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize