You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize