she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize