Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
