And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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