there was a trapeze. enough said
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
