I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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