im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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