we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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