3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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