I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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