I'm drive I can fine osifer
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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