so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
