I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
