Need sex. Gaining weight.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
