I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
love makes seman taste better
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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