o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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