New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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