Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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