Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
