Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
