I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
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When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
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Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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