Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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