why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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