on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
