How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
