my mouth tastes like poor choices
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Randomize