I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
