Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
