So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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