i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
