No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
