What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Randomize
