I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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