Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
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All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
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Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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