This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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