I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
