Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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