At least make sure they are 18
Why
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
