so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
