Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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