I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
