like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
