On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize