Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
