why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
