other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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