That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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