If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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