I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
