I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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