i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
porn star boner night. come get it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
