i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
