Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
