WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
