Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize