it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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