My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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