You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i will never coherently bang her
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
