why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
