you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
